i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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