My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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