He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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