I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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