Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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