Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
