he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
