Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
