Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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