Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
