Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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