dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
