Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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