i just google imaged poop.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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