Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
