I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
