So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
