id be glad to
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
