I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
