omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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