i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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