Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
