she was so not down for the gang bang
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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