i was born a porn star she said
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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