My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
