weddingsv make me drug and hornr
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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