He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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