Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Someone shattered a urinal.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
