i don't like sucking hair
it hurts more in the daytime
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i now understand why vodka
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
