so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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