is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
send nudes
from the living room?
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