You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
