Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My vagina is very pro this idea
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
