Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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