all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.