WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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