Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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