my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
