let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
