i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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