Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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