Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I've blown a few things in my day
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
