they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
