Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We are all done wearing pants today
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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