she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
