ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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