sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
