Apparently you make a good broom.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
