your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
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