then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
