weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
