You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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