i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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