fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
