just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
