Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
