He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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