Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I just shit out all my problems.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
