she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
