Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize