I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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