are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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