I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
